Phil woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of a deep voice calling his name.

“Phil, my son.  You have done good work and have earned my grace”

“Who is it?  What do you want?”

“Be not afraid, my son.  I have seen the generous measures you are taking to help the poor and disadvantaged in PNG.  You are a good man.  I want to help you.  What would you ask for?

“Who is this??  Are you who I think you are?”

“Yes my son”

“Well, could help me crush the shorts?  I hate those mother*&**’s.  I need irrefutable evidence that I can deliver results.  Can you help me with that?”

“Well my son, I will not directly intervene, but I will grant you one miracle - the ability to walk on water – that should show the shorts that you have my blessings and remove any doubts on your abilities.”

“That should work!”

The next day Phil organized a press conference at the Port Moresby docks to get out word of the miracle.  In front of everyone, he walked across the harbor waters.

Immediately the shorts put out the following headline “Phil Mulacek can’t swim! What a LOSER!  IOC is doomed.”